lowbrow + brilliant

alternate realities

• me: its funny to imagine my life if i had never encountered a drop of alcohol
• like
• i'd probably look 10 years younger
• have a rocking body
• career dreams achieved
• BOUGHT A HOUSE PROBS
• with all the money i saved
• Travis: honestly tho, i think that people who are really successful at stuff don't really drink
• me: ugh but they probably suck
• like, every day they wake up thinking "i feel like i've missed something really important." and there is a voice whispering "FUUUUUUN. YOURE MISSING FUUUUUN."
• Travis: LOL
• no, they probably wake up and say, "look how beautiful and successful i am... i'm gonna go to the gym!"
• me: SHHHHHHHHHHH

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